Reply To: Week 1 Posts – November 21st

Home Forums Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum Week 1 Posts – November 21st Reply To: Week 1 Posts – November 21st

#19025
Victoria Ruiz
Participant

Marlow,
I really felt this line…”I once confused fear with devotion convinced the sparrows to forgo migration” more lines like this. please! I love the ownership/growth that I feel in this line. a perspective, if you will.

I would challenge you to put yourself in the poem via pronouns… ex

“On the day you say goodbye to him
Your breath will catch high in the noose of your throat”

The day I said good-bye to him
my breath catching/caught itself on the noose of my throat
as guillotine teeth chop off the long neck of my moans….

i am not sure what the line, “bodies can confuse hearts” mean so naturally, I am very curious to know! :) THank you!

…..something along those lines. there are opportunities for this to have a second look throughout the poem.